Clarity is one of the greatest gifts this life has given us. Getting clear on who we are, where we are, and what we desire is truly a game changer. I share some of the latest insights from my journey below.
I have been blessed with a close-knit group of awesome women who are more family than friends. I love them dearly and I know they love me too. We have a healthy, non-toxic, mostly happy dynamic (hi guys!).
At the top of this new year, while traveling overseas, I would have regular video and telephone calls with each of them. I love our conversations. They are fun, thoughtful, and in a word – dynamic. Our discussions often go from hot-topic current affairs to the mundane. Somewhere between the two poles, life updates and a sprinkle of the ridiculous are also par for the course. Simply put, our conversations, limes, and link-ups are a good time. This blog is a spillover from one of those conversations.
How I Got Here…
One of my best girls had landed in Jamaica for her yearly trip home just around the time I was leaving to do some laying of the land in what may be a new home. After settling in my new locale, I had my video catch-up with my girl. We had about two catch-ups before the one that led us to this blog. During our ‘big conversation,’ she remarked “I’d like to pick your brain.” I immediately thought this was about work or business, instead, her question was directly related to personal growth. She asked, “what are your biggest three lessons for 2022?” I paused to think about my answer.
Admittedly, I tend to be big on processing the year that was and getting clear on the one that is to come. I do this reflection on my birthday. Perhaps due in part to my birthday falling toward the end of the year (November 29), my reflections and new years resolutions often go hand-in-hand. Consequently, I was able to answer after about 30 seconds or so.
So here goes, here are my three biggest lessons for 2022 that I am taking with me into 2023.
My Lessons Learned
The lessons that stood out to me in 2022 were not new. However, they were brought home in new ways, and the aforementioned conversation helped to highlight that.
01. Fortune favours the brave
The lesson…
As someone who looks ahead before making choices in the present, I am hardly one to promote being reckless with your choices or careless with your future. In fact, I am far more likely to encourage you to plan well and as far as possible, get it right the first time. Conversely, I am also very likely to encourage you to take the necessary leap and work on whatever plans you have made so that your vision(s) may become a reality. Taking the step forward is where you will begin to see the results you desire.
‘Build a vision, have a plan, and work that plan,’ is in many ways a mantra of mine.
The lightbulb moment…
‘Good things come to those who are brave’ has been a saying of mine for years now. ‘Fortune favours the brave,’ is the natural offshoot of the same. I believe that when we take calculated risks and show up for ourselves in new ways, new opportunities also show up for us. My life, to date, has reflected this. I have also seen it proven true in the lives of so many others, that this perspective (albeit subjective in some sense) is one worth cultivating.
02. Understand your value
The lesson…
Our value and sense of worth are critical to how we show up in the world. Your perception of yourself goes a long way in determining the texture of your life experiences. When you understand your value, you guard it jealously, understanding that what you bring to the table is not accessible by just anyone who wishes to dine or feast. In the words of Burna Boy (one of my favs btw), when you truly value yourself, you will “bank on it, even put a hundred grand pon it.” In other words, you ‘price’ your value with a clear understanding of what will be required for that value to be accessed and shared in places and spaces.
Getting clear on who you are, what you bring to the table, and what you desire (or do not desire) will determine the relationships you entertain, the jobs you take, and the experiences you are willing to partake in. Knowing you are valuable and being able to give language to that value will help you understand the ways in which you should (and should not) move forward in your life. Clarity will underscore the brave actions that you take, as you will clearly understand that you are worth the risk.
The lightbulb moment…
At some point during the last quarter of 2022, I was navigating some changes in my business and career. Some of these changes included relieving myself of certain clients, revamping my service products, building my digital learning centre, delving into my creative projects, and enjoying more social time with those I care the most about. Some of these changes required risking losing money in some areas, charging and earning significantly more in others, and so forth. One of the dilemmas I was faced with as I navigated all the above was simply this; ‘am I worth the reward of taking these risks?’
In instances where I responded with hesitation (or not vehemently yes) to this poignant question, I knew something had to give and I had to dig deeper.
03. Make room for what you desire
The lesson…
As intimated by the first two lessons of my big three, vision, value, and fearlessness (or faith) are all critical in moving forward in any area of your life. However, none of it will work for you until you consistently choose to make room for the ‘fortune’ and things of value to show up in your life and experiences. You literally cannot go where you do not prepare to go (read that again).
Making room is about building your personal capacity and doing the work to grow on the inside. This means moving forward in the things that others may not readily see or discern. It will require ‘banking on yourself.’ This is why building your self-esteem and sense of worth is key (revisit #2 if you must). Behaviours like actively interrupting habitual thought patterns and loops, and practicing what initially feels like counter-intuitive actions to build new habits will become indispensable.
The lightbulb moment…
I was taking a closer look at some of the goals I had for myself and where I was in relation to them. I was also having conversations with friends who were also saying one thing and making choices that were juxtaposed to bringing them closer to their desires. My friends too were getting honest about what they said they wanted and how their current actions are helping or hindering them in achieving the same.
Of course, the flip side of all this is looking at how what the new and different choices must be in light of the desired outcomes. Perhaps, actively interrupting thought loops, and choosing to do the things that feel counterintuitive (i.e. we do not feel like doing them) is the place to start. This approach has proven to be so far, so good.
In conclusion, the big-3 for me is a resounding yes to self-worth, courage, happiness, self-compassion, inspired living, and success for me and those in my sphere. Cheers to a blessed 2023!
Use the comments section below to share your big-3!
